Chapter 117
PhiliphadwrittentoAthelnytotellhimthathewasdoingalocuminDorsetshireandinduecoursereceivedananswerfromhim.Itwaswrittenintheformalmannerheaffected,studdedwithpompousepithetsasaPersiandiademwasstuddedwithpreciousstones;andinthebeautifulhand,likeblackletterandasdifficulttoread,uponwhichhepridedhimself.HesuggestedthatPhilipshouldjoinhimandhisfamilyintheKentishhop-fieldtowhichhewenteveryyear;andtopersuadehimsaidvariousbeautifulandcomplicatedthingsaboutPhilip』ssoulandthewindingtendrilsofthehops.Philiprepliedatoncethathewouldcomeonthefirstdayhewasfree.Thoughnotbornthere,hehadapeculiaraffectionfortheIsleofThanet,andhewasfiredwithenthusiasmatthethoughtofspendingafortnightsoclosetotheearthandamidconditionswhichneededonlyablueskytobeasidyllicastheolivegrovesofArcady.
ThefourweeksofhisengagementatFarnleypassedquickly.Onthecliffanewtownwasspringingup,withredbrickvillasroundgolflinks,andalargehotelhadrecentlybeenopenedtocaterforthesummervisitors;butPhilipwentthereseldom.Downbelow,bytheharbour,thelittlestonehousesofapastcenturywereclusteredinadelightfulconfusion,andthenarrowstreets,climbingdownsteeply,hadanairofantiquitywhichappealedtotheimagination.Bythewater』sedgewereneatcottageswithtrim,tinygardensinfrontofthem;theywereinhabitedbyretiredcaptainsinthemerchantservice,andbymothersorwidowsofmenwhohadgainedtheirliving
bythesea;andtheyhadanappearancewhichwasquaintandpeaceful.InthelittleharbourcametrampsfromSpainandtheLevant,shipsofsmalltonnage;andnowandthenawindjammerwasborneinbythewindsofromance.ItremindedPhilipofthedirtylittleharbourwithitscolliersatBlackstable,andhethoughtthattherehehadfirstacquiredthedesire,whichwasnowanobsession,forEasternlandsandsunlitislandsinatropicsea.Buthereyoufeltyourselfclosertothewide,deepoceanthanontheshoreofthatNorthSeawhichseemedalwayscircumscribed;hereyoucoulddrawalongbreathasyoulookedoutupontheevenvastness;andthewestwind,thedearsoftsaltwindofEngland,upliftedtheheartandatthesametimemeltedittotenderness.
Oneevening,whenPhiliphadreachedhislastweekwithDoctorSouth,achildcametothesurgerydoorwhiletheolddoctorandPhilipweremakingupprescriptions.Itwasalittleraggedgirlwithadirtyfaceandbarefeet.Philipopenedthedoor.
「Please,sir,willyoucometoMrs.Fletcher』sinIvyLaneatonce?」
「What』sthematterwithMrs.Fletcher?」calledoutDoctorSouthinhisraspingvoice.
Thechildtooknonoticeofhim,butaddressedherselfagaintoPhilip.
「Please,sir,herlittleboy』shadanaccidentandwillyoucomeatonce?」
「TellMrs.FletcherI』mcoming,」calledoutDoctorSouth.
Thelittlegirlhesitatedforamoment,andputtingadirtyfingerinadirtymouthstoodstillandlookedatPhilip.
「What』sthematter,Kid?」saidPhilip,smiling.
「Please,sir,Mrs.Fletchersays,willthenewdoctorcome?」TherewasasoundinthedispensaryandDoctorSouthcameoutintothepassage.
「Isn』tMrs.Fletchersatisfiedwithme?」hebarked.
「I』veattendedMrs.Fletchersinceshewasborn.Whyaren』tIgoodenoughtoattendherfilthybrat?」
Thelittlegirllookedforamomentasthoughsheweregoingtocry,thenshethoughtbetterofit;sheputouthertonguedeliberatelyatDoctorSouth,and,beforehecouldrecoverfromhisastonishment,boltedoffasfastasshecouldrun.Philipsawthattheoldgentlemanwasannoyed.
「Youlookratherfagged,andit』sagoodishwaytoIvyLane,」hesaid,bywayofgivinghimanexcusenottogohimself.
DoctorSouthgavealowsnarl.
「It』sadamnedsightnearerforamanwho』sgottheuseofbothlegsthanforamanwho』sonlygotoneandahalf.」
Philipreddenedandstoodsilentforawhile.
「Doyouwishmetogoorwillyougoyourself?」hesaidatlastfrigidly.
「What』sthegoodofmygoing?Theywantyou.」
Philiptookuphishatandwenttoseethepatient.Itwasharduponeighto』clockwhenhecameback.DoctorSouthwasstandinginthedining-roomwithhisbacktothefireplace.
「You』vebeenalongtime,」hesaid.
「I』msorry.Whydidn』tyoustartdinner?」
「BecauseIchosetowait.HaveyoubeenallthiswhileatMrs.Fletcher』s?」
「No,I』mafraidIhaven』t.Istoppedtolookatthesunsetonmywayback,andIdidn』tthinkofthetime.」
DoctorSouthdidnotreply,andtheservantbroughtinsomegrilledsprats.Philipatethemwithanexcellentappetite.SuddenlyDoctorSouthshotaquestionathim.
「Whydidyoulookatthesunset?」
Philipansweredwithhismouthfull.
「BecauseIwashappy.」
DoctorSouthgavehimanoddlook,andtheshadow
ofasmileflickeredacrosshisold,tiredface.Theyatetherestofthedinnerinsilence;butwhenthemaidhadgiventhemtheportandlefttheroom,theoldmanleanedbackandfixedhissharpeyesonPhilip.
「ItstungyouupabitwhenIspokeofyourgameleg,youngfellow?」hesaid.
「Peoplealwaysdo,directlyorindirectly,whentheygetangrywithme.」
「Isupposetheyknowit』syourweakpoint.」
Philipfacedhimandlookedathimsteadily.
「Areyouverygladtohavediscoveredit?」
Thedoctordidnotanswer,buthegaveachuckleofbittermirth.Theysatforawhilestaringatoneanother.ThenDoctorSouthsurprisedPhilipextremely.
「Whydon』tyoustayhereandI』llgetridofthatdamnedfoolwithhismumps?」
「It』sverykindofyou,butIhopetogetanappointmentatthehospitalintheautumn.It』llhelpmesomuchingettingotherworklater.」
「I』mofferingyouapartnership,」saidDoctorSouthgrumpily.
「Why?」askedPhilip,withsurprise.
「Theyseemtolikeyoudownhere.」
「Ididn』tthinkthatwasafactwhichaltogethermetwithyourapproval,」Philipsaiddrily.
「D』yousupposethatafterfortyyears』practiceIcareatwopennydamnwhetherpeopleprefermyassistanttome?No,myfriend.There』snosentimentbetweenmypatientsandme.Idon』texpectgratitudefromthem,Iexpectthemtopaymyfees.Well,whatd』yousaytoit?」
Philipmadenoreply,notbecausehewasthinkingovertheproposal,butbecausehewasastonished.Itwasevidentlyveryunusualforsomeonetoofferapartnershiptoanewlyqualifiedman;andherealisedwithwonderthat,althoughnothingwouldinducehimtosayso,DoctorSouthhadtakenafancytohim.HethoughthowamusedthesecretaryatSt.Luke』swouldbewhenhetoldhim.
「Thepracticebringsinaboutsevenhundredayear.Wecanreckonouthowmuchyoursharewouldbeworth,andyoucanpaymeoffbydegrees.AndwhenIdieyoucansucceedme.Ithinkthat』sbetterthanknockingabouthospitalsfortwoorthreeyears,andthentakingassistantshipsuntilyoucanaffordtosetupforyourself.」
Philipknewitwasachancethatmostpeopleinhisprofessionwouldjumpat;theprofessionwasover-crowded,andhalfthemenheknewwouldbethankfultoacceptthecertaintyofevensomodestacompetenceasthat.
「I』mawfullysorry,butIcan』t,」hesaid.「ItmeansgivingupeverythingI』veaimedatforyears.InonewayandanotherI』vehadaroughishtime,butIalwayshadthatonehopebeforeme,togetqualifiedsothatImighttravel;andnow,whenIwakeinthemorning,mybonessimplyachetogetoff,Idon』tmindwhereparticularly,butjustaway,toplacesI』veneverbeento.」
Nowthegoalseemedverynear.HewouldhavefinishedhisappointmentatSt.Luke』sbythemiddleofthefollowingyear,andthenhewouldgotoSpain;hecouldaffordtospendseveralmonthsthere,ramblingupanddownthelandwhichstoodtohimforromance;afterthathewouldgetashipandgototheEast.Lifewasbeforehimandtimeofnoaccount.Hecouldwander,foryearsifhechose,inunfrequentedplaces,amidstrangepeoples,wherelifewasledinstrangeways.Hedidnotknowwhathesoughtorwhathisjourneyswouldbringhim;buthehadafeelingthathewouldlearnsomethingnewaboutlifeandgainsomecluetothemysterythathehadsolvedonlytofindmoremysterious.Andevenifhefoundnothinghewouldallaytheunrestwhichgnawedathisheart.ButDoctorSouthwasshowinghimagreatkindness,anditseemedungratefultorefusehisofferfornoadequatereason;soinhisshyway,tryingtoappearasmatteroffactaspossible,hemadesomeattempttoexplainwhyitwassoimportanttohimtocarryouttheplanshehadcherishedsopassionately.
DoctorSouthlistenedquietly,andagentlelookcameintohisshrewdoldeyes.ItseemedtoPhilipanaddedkindnessthathedidnotpresshimtoaccepthisoffer.Benevolenceisoftenveryperemptory.HeappearedtolookuponPhilip』sreasonsassound.Droppingthesubject,hebegantotalkofhisownyouth;hehadbeenintheRoyalNavy,anditwashislongconnectionwiththeseathat,whenheretired,hadmadehimsettleatFarnley.HetoldPhilipofolddaysinthePacificandofwildadventuresinChina.Hehadtakenpartinanexpeditionagainstthehead-huntersofBorneoandhadknownSamoawhenitwasstillanindependentstate.Hehadtouchedatcoralislands.Philiplistenedtohimentranced.LittlebylittlehetoldPhilipabouthimself.DoctorSouthwasawidower,hiswifehaddiedthirtyyearsbefore,andhisdaughterhadmarriedafarmerinRhodesia;hehadquarrelledwithhim,andshehadnotcometoEnglandfortenyears.Itwasjustasifhehadneverhadwifeorchild.Hewasverylonely.Hisgruffnesswaslittlemorethanaprotectionwhichheworetohideacompletedisillusionment;andtoPhilipitseemedtragictoseehimjustwaitingfordeath,notimpatiently,butratherwithloathingforit,hatingoldageandunabletoresignhimselftoitslimitations,andyetwiththefeelingthatdeathwastheonlysolutionofthebitternessofhislife.Philipcrossedhispath,andthenaturalaffectionwhichlongseparationfromhisdaughterhadkilled—shehadtakenherhusband』spartinthequarrelandherchildrenhehadneverseen—settleditselfuponPhilip.Atfirstitmadehimangry,hetoldhimselfitwasasignofdotage;buttherewassomethinginPhilipthatattractedhim,andhefoundhimselfsmilingathimheknewnotwhy.Philipdidnotborehim.Onceortwiceheputhishandonhisshoulder:itwasasnearacaressashehadgotsincehisdaughterleftEnglandsomanyyearsbefore.WhenthetimecameforPhiliptogoDoctorSouthaccompaniedhimtothestation:hefoundhimselfunaccountablydepressed.
「I』vehadarippingtimehere,」saidPhilip.「You』vebeenawfullykindtome.」
「Isupposeyou』reverygladtogo?」
「I』veenjoyedmyselfhere.」
「Butyouwanttogetoutintotheworld?Ah,youhaveyouth.」Hehesitatedamoment.「Iwantyoutorememberthatifyouchangeyourmindmyofferstillstands.」
「That』sawfullykindofyou.」
Philipshookhandswithhimoutofthecarriagewindow,andthetrainsteamedoutofthestation.Philipthoughtofthefortnighthewasgoingtospendinthehop-field:hewashappyattheideaofseeinghisfriendsagain,andherejoicedbecausethedaywasfine.ButDoctorSouthwalkedslowlybacktohisemptyhouse.Hefeltveryoldandverylonely.