Chapter 3

WhentheyreachedthehouseMrs.Careyhaddiedin—itwasinadreary,respectablestreetbetweenNottingHillGateandHighStreet,Kensington—EmmaledPhilipintothedrawing-room.Hisunclewaswritinglettersofthanksforthewreathswhichhadbeensent.Oneofthem,whichhadarrivedtoolateforthefuneral,layinitscardboardboxonthehall-table.

「Here』sMasterPhilip,」saidEmma.

Mr.Careystoodupslowlyandshookhandswiththelittleboy.Thenonsecondthoughtshebentdownandkissedhisforehead.Hewasamanofsomewhatlessthanaverageheight,inclinedtocorpulence,withhishair,wornlong,arrangedoverthescalpsoastoconcealhisbaldness.Hewasclean-shaven.Hisfeatureswereregular,anditwaspossibletoimaginethatinhisyouthhehadbeengood-looking.Onhiswatch-chainheworeagoldcross.

「You』regoingtolivewithmenow,Philip,」saidMr.Carey.「Shallyoulikethat?」

TwoyearsbeforePhiliphadbeensentdowntostayatthevicarageafteranattackofchicken-pox;butthereremainedwithhimarecollectionofanatticandalargegardenratherthanofhisuncleandaunt.

「Yes.」

「YoumustlookuponmeandyourAuntLouisaasyourfatherandmother.」

Thechild』smouthtrembledalittle,hereddened,butdidnotanswer.

「Yourdearmotherleftyouinmycharge.」

Mr.Careyhadnogreateaseinexpressinghimself.Whenthenewscamethathissister-in-lawwasdying,hesetoffatonceforLondon,butonthewaythoughtofnothingbutthedisturbanceinhislifethatwouldbecausedifherdeathforcedhimtoundertakethecareofherson.Hewaswelloverfifty,andhiswife,towhomhehadbeenmarriedforthirtyyears,waschildless;hedidnotlookforwardwithanypleasuretothepresenceofasmallboywhomightbenoisyandrough.Hehadnevermuchlikedhissister-in-law.

「I』mgoingtotakeyoudowntoBlackstabletomorrow,」hesaid.

「WithEmma?」

Thechildputhishandinhers,andshepressedit.

「I』mafraidEmmamustgoaway,」saidMr.Carey.

「ButIwantEmmatocomewithme.」

Philipbegantocry,andthenursecouldnothelpcryingtoo.Mr.Careylookedatthemhelplessly.

「Ithinkyou』dbetterleavemealonewithMasterPhilipforamoment.」

「Verygood,sir.」

ThoughPhilipclungtoher,shereleasedherselfgently.Mr.Careytooktheboyonhiskneeandputhisarmroundhim.

「Youmustn』tcry,」hesaid.「You』retoooldtohaveanursenow.Wemustseeaboutsendingyoutoschool.」

「IwantEmmatocomewithme,」thechildrepeated.

「Itcoststoomuchmoney,Philip.Yourfatherdidn』tleaveverymuch,andIdon』tknowwhat』sbecomeofit.Youmustlookateverypennyyouspend.」

Mr.Careyhadcalledthedaybeforeonthefamilysolicitor.Philip』sfatherwasasurgeoningoodpractice,andhishospitalappointmentssuggestedanestablishedposition;sothatitwasasurpriseonhissuddendeathfromblood-poisoningtofindthathehadlefthiswidowlittlemorethanhislifeinsuranceandwhatcouldbegotfortheleaseoftheirhouseinBrutonStreet.Thiswassixmonthsago;andMrs.Carey,alreadyindelicatehealth,findingherselfwithchild,hadlostherheadandacceptedfortheleasethefirstofferthatwasmade.Shestoredherfurniture,and,atarentwhichtheparsonthoughtoutrageous,tookafurnishedhouseforayear,sothatshemightsufferfromnoinconveniencetillherchildwasborn.Butshehadneverbeenusedtothemanagementofmoney,andwasunabletoadaptherexpendituretoheralteredcircumstances.Thelittleshehadslippedthroughherfingersinonewayandanother,sothatnow,whenallexpenseswerepaid,notmuchmorethantwothousandpoundsremainedtosupporttheboytillhewasabletoearnhisownliving.ItwasimpossibletoexplainallthistoPhilipandhewassobbingstill.

「You』dbettergotoEmma,」Mr.Careysaid,feelingthatshecouldconsolethechildbetterthananyone.

WithoutawordPhilipslippedoffhisuncle』sknee,butMr.Careystoppedhim.

「Wemustgotomorrow,becauseonSaturdayI』vegottopreparemysermon,andyoumusttellEmmatogetyourthingsreadytoday.Youcanbringallyourtoys.Andifyouwantanythingtorememberyourfatherandmotherbyyoucantakeonethingforeachofthem.Everythingelseisgoingtobesold.」

Theboyslippedoutoftheroom.Mr.Careywasunusedtowork,andheturnedtohiscorrespondencewithresentment.Ononesideofthedeskwasabundleofbills,andthesefilledhimwithirritation.Oneespeciallyseemedpreposterous.ImmediatelyafterMrs.Carey』sdeathEmmahadorderedfromthefloristmassesofwhiteflowersfortheroominwhichthedeadwomanlay.Itwassheerwasteofmoney.Emmatookfartoomuchuponherself.Eveniftherehadbeennofinancialnecessity,hewouldhavedismissedher.

ButPhilipwenttoher,andhidhisfaceinherbosom,andweptasthoughhisheartwouldbreak.Andshe,feelingthathewasalmostherownson—shehadtakenhimwhenhewasamonthold—consoledhimwithsoftwords.Shepromisedthatshewouldcomeandseehimsometimes,andthatshewouldneverforgethim;andshetoldhimaboutthecountryhewasgoingtoandaboutherownhomeinDevonshire—herfatherkeptaturnpikeonthehigh-roadthatledtoExeter,andtherewerepigsinthesty,andtherewasacow,andthecowhadjusthadacalf—tillPhilipforgothistearsandgrewexcitedatthethoughtofhisapproachingjourney.Presentlysheputhimdown,fortherewasmuchtobedone,andhehelpedhertolayouthisclothesonthebed.Shesenthimintothenurserytogatheruphistoys,andinalittlewhilehewasplayinghappily.

Butatlasthegrewtiredofbeingaloneandwentbacktothebed-room,inwhichEmmawasnowputtinghisthingsintoabigtinbox;herememberedthenthathisunclehadsaidhemighttakesomethingtorememberhisfatherandmotherby.HetoldEmmaandaskedherwhatheshouldtake.

「You』dbettergointothedrawing-roomandseewhatyoufancy.」

「UncleWilliam』sthere.」

「Nevermindthat.They』reyourownthingsnow.」

Philipwentdownstairsslowlyandfoundthedooropen.Mr.Careyhadlefttheroom.Philipwalkedslowlyround.Theyhadbeeninthehousesoshortatimethattherewaslittleinitthathadaparticularinteresttohim.Itwasastranger』sroom,andPhilipsawnothingthatstruckhisfancy.Butheknewwhichwerehismother』sthingsandwhichbelongedtothelandlord,andpresentlyfixedonalittleclockthathehadonceheardhismothersaysheliked.Withthishewalkedagainratherdisconsolatelyupstairs.Outsidethedoorofhismother』sbed-roomhestoppedandlistened.Thoughnoonehadtoldhimnottogoin,hehadafeelingthatitwouldbewrongtodoso;hewasalittlefrightened,andhisheartbeatuncomfortably;butatthesametimesomethingimpelledhimtoturnthehandle.Heturneditverygently,asiftopreventanyonewithinfromhearing,andthenslowlypushedthedooropen.Hestoodonthethresholdforamomentbeforehehadthecouragetoenter.Hewasnotfrightenednow,butitseemedstrange.Heclosedthedoorbehindhim.Theblindsweredrawn,andtheroom,inthecoldlightofaJanuaryafternoon,wasdark.Onthedressing-tablewereMrs.Carey』sbrushesandthehandmirror.Inalittletraywerehairpins.Therewasaphotographofhimselfonthechimney-pieceandoneofhisfather.Hehadoftenbeenintheroomwhenhismotherwasnotinit,butnowitseemeddifferent.Therewassomethingcuriousinthelookofthechairs.Thebedwasmadeasthoughsomeoneweregoingtosleepinitthatnight,andinacaseonthepillowwasanight-dress.

Philipopenedalargecupboardfilledwithdressesand,steppingin,tookasmanyofthemashecouldinhisarmsandburiedhisfaceinthem.Theysmeltofthescenthismotherused.Thenhepulledopenthedrawers,filledwithhismother』sthings,andlookedatthem:therewerelavenderbagsamongthelinen,andtheirscentwasfreshandpleasant.Thestrangenessoftheroomleftit,anditseemedtohimthathismotherhadjustgoneoutforawalk.Shewouldbeinpresentlyandwouldcomeupstairstohavenurseryteawithhim.Andheseemedtofeelherkissonhislips.

Itwasnottruethathewouldneverseeheragain.Itwasnottruesimplybecauseitwasimpossible.Heclimbeduponthebedandputhisheadonthepillow.Helaytherequitestill.