Chapter 32
THEFEASTOFBELSHAZZAR—ASEERTOTRANSLATE
SuchfeelingsasweregeneratedinCarriebythiswalkputherinanexceedinglyreceptivemoodforthepathoswhichfollowedintheplay.Theactorwhomtheyhadgonetoseehadachievedhispopularitybypresentingamellowtypeofcomedy,inwhichsufficientsorrowwasintroducedtolendcontrastandrelieftohumor.ForCarrie,aswewellknow,thestagehadagreatattraction.ShehadneverforgottenheronehistrionicachievementinChicago.Itdweltinhermindandoccupiedherconsciousnessduringmanylongafternoonsinwhichherrockingchairandherlatestnovelcontributedtheonlypleasuresofherstate.Nevercouldshewitnessaplaywithouthavingherownabilityvividlybroughttoconsciousness.Somescenesmadeherlongtobeapartofthem—togiveexpressiontothefeelingswhichshe,intheplaceofthecharacterrepresented,wouldfeel.Almostinvariablyshewouldcarrythevividimaginationsawaywithherandbroodoverthemthenextdayalone.Shelivedasmuchinthesethingsasintherealitieswhichmadeupherdailylife.
Itwasnotoftenthatshecametotheplaystirredtoherheart』scorebyactualities.To-dayalowsongoflonginghadbeensetsinginginherheartbythefinery,themerriment,thebeautyshehadseen.Oh,thesewomenwhohadpassedherby,hundredsandhundredsstrong,whowerethey.Whencecametherich,elegantdresses,theastonishinglycoloredbuttons,theknick-knacksofsilverandgold.Whereweretheselovelycreatureshoused.Amidwhateleganciesofcarvedfurniture,decoratedwalls,elaboratetapestriesdidtheymove.Whereweretheirrichapartments,loadedwithallthatmoneycouldprovide.Inwhatstableschampedthesesleek,nervoushorsesandrestedthegorgeouscarriages.Whereloungedtherichlygroomedfootmen.Oh,themansions,thelights,theperfume,theloadedboudoirsandtables!NewYorkmustbefilledwithsuchbowers,orthebeautiful,insolent,superciliouscreaturescouldnotbe.Somehothousesheldthem.Itachedhertoknowthatshewasnotoneofthem—that,alas,shehaddreamedadreamandithadnotcometrue.Shewonderedatherownsolitudethesetwoyearspast—herindifferencetothefactthatshehadneverachievedwhatshehadexpected.
Theplaywasoneofthosedrawing-roomconcoctionsinwhichcharminglyoverdressedladiesandgentlemensufferthepangsofloveandjealousyamidgildedsurroundings.Suchbon-motsareeverenticingtothosewhohavealltheirdayslongedforsuchmaterialsurroundingsandhaveneverhadthemgratified.Theyhavethecharmofshowingsufferingunderidealconditions.Whowouldnotgrieveuponagildedchair.Whowouldnotsufferamidperfumedtapestries,cushionedfurniture,andliveriedservants.Griefundersuchcircumstancesbecomesanenticingthing.Carrielongedtobeofit.Shewantedtotakehersufferings,whatevertheywere,insuchaworld,orfailingthat,atleasttosimulatethemundersuchcharmingconditionsuponthestage.Soaffectedwashermindbywhatshehadseen,thattheplaynowseemedanextraordinarilybeautifulthing.Shewassoonlostintheworlditrepresented,andwishedthatshemightneverreturn.Betweentheactsshestudiedthegalaxyofmatineeattendantsinfrontrowsandboxes,andconceivedanewideaofthepossibilitiesofNewYork.Shewassureshehadnotseenitall—thatthecitywasonewhirlofpleasureanddelight.
Goingout,thesameBroadwaytaughtherasharperlesson.Thesceneshehadwitnessedcomingdownwasnowaugmentedandatitsheight.Suchacrushoffineryandfollyshehadneverseen.Itclinchedherconvictionsconcerningherstate.Shehadnotlived,couldnotlayclaimtohavinglived,untilsomethingofthishadcomeintoherownlife.Womenwerespendingmoneylikewater;shecouldseethatineveryelegantshopshepassed.Flowers,candy,jewelry,seemedtheprincipalthingsinwhichtheelegantdameswereinterested.Andshe—shehadscarcelyenoughpinmoneytoindulgeinsuchoutingsasthisafewtimesamonth.
Thatnighttheprettylittleflatseemedacommonplacething.Itwasnotwhattherestoftheworldwasenjoying.Shesawtheservantworkingatdinnerwithanindifferenteye.Inhermindwererunningscenesoftheplay.Particularlysherememberedonebeautifulactress—thesweetheartwhohadbeenwooedandwon.ThegraceofthiswomanhadwonCarrie』sheart.Herdresseshadbeenallthatartcouldsuggest,hersufferingshadbeensoreal.TheanguishwhichshehadportrayedCarriecouldfeel.Itwasdoneasshewassureshecoulddoit.Therewereplacesinwhichshecouldevendobetter.Hencesherepeatedthelinestoherself.Oh,ifshecouldonlyhavesuchapart,howbroadwouldbeherlife!She,too,couldactappealingly.
WhenHurstwoodcame,Carriewasmoody.Shewassitting,rockingandthinking,anddidnotcaretohaveherenticingimaginationsbrokeninupon;soshesaidlittleornothing.
「What』sthematter,Carrie.」saidHurstwoodafteratime,noticingherquiet,almostmoodystate.
「Nothing,」saidCarrie.「Idon』tfeelverywelltonight.」
「Notsick,areyou.」heasked,approachingveryclose.
「Oh,no,」shesaid,almostpettishly,「Ijustdon』tfeelverygood.」
「That』stoobad,」hesaid,steppingawayandadjustinghisvestafterhisslightbendingover.「Iwasthinkingwemightgotoashowto-night.」
「Idon』twanttogo,」saidCarrie,annoyedthatherfinevisionsshouldhavethusbeenbrokenintoanddrivenoutofhermind.「I』vebeentothematineethisafternoon.」
「Oh,youhave.」saidHurstwood.「Whatwasit.」
「AGoldMine.」
「Howwasit.」
「Prettygood,」saidCarrie.
「Andyoudon』twanttogoagaintonight.」
「Idon』tthinkIdo,」shesaid.
Nevertheless,wakenedoutofhermelancholiaandcalledtothedinnertable,shechangedhermind.Alittlefoodinthestomachdoeswonders.Shewentagain,andinsodoingtemporarilyrecoveredherequanimity.Thegreatawakeningblowhad,however,beendelivered.Asoftenasshemightrecoverfromthesediscontentedthoughtsnow,theywouldoccuragain.Timeandrepetition—ah,thewonderofit!Thedroppingwaterandthesolidstone—howutterlyityieldsatlast!
Notlongafterthismatineeexperience—perhapsamonth—Mrs.VanceinvitedCarrietoaneveningatthetheatrewiththem.SheheardCarriesaythatHurstwoodwasnotcominghometodinner.
「Whydon』tyoucomewithus.Don』tgetdinnerforyourself.We』regoingdowntoSherry』sfordinnerandthenovertotheLyceum.Comealongwithus.」
「IthinkIwill,」answeredCarrie.
Shebegantodressatthreeo』clockforherdepartureathalfpastfiveforthenoteddining-roomwhichwasthencrowdingDelmonico』sforpositioninsociety.
InthisdressingCarrieshowedtheinfluenceofherassociationwiththedashingMrs.Vance.Shehadconstantlyhadherattentioncalledbythelattertonoveltiesineverythingwhichpertainstoawoman』sapparel.
「Areyougoingtogetsuchandsuchahat.」or,「Haveyouseenthenewgloveswiththeovalpearlbuttons.」werebutsamplephrasesoutofalargeselection.
「Thenexttimeyougetapairofshoes,dearie,」saidMrs.Vance,「getbutton,withthicksolesandpatent-leathertips.They』realltheragethisfall.」
「Iwill,」saidCarrie.
「Oh,dear,haveyouseenthenewshirtwaistsatAltman』s.Theyhavesomeoftheloveliestpatterns.IsawonetherethatIknowwouldlookstunningonyou.IsaidsowhenIsawit.」
Carrielistenedtothesethingswithconsiderableinterest,fortheyweresuggestedwithmoreoffriendlinessthanisusuallycommonbetweenprettywomen.Mrs.VancelikedCarrie』sstablegood-naturesowellthatshereallytookpleasureinsuggestingtoherthelatestthings.
「Whydon』tyougetyourselfoneofthosenicesergeskirtsthey』resellingatLord&Taylor』s.」shesaidoneday.「They』rethecircularstyle,andthey』regoingtobewornfromnowon.Adarkblueonewouldlooksoniceonyou.」
Carrielistenedwitheagerears.ThesethingsnevercameupbetweenherandHurstwood.Nevertheless,shebegantosuggestonethingandanother,whichHurstwoodagreedtowithoutanyexpressionofopinion.HenoticedthenewtendencyonCarrie』spart,andfinally,hearingmuchofMrs.Vanceandherdelightfulways,suspectedwhencethechangecame.Hewasnotinclinedtooffertheslightestobjectionsosoon,buthefeltthatCarrie』swantswereexpanding.Thisdidnotappealtohimexactly,buthecaredforherinhisownway,andsothethingstood.Still,therewassomethinginthedetailsofthetransactionswhichcausedCarrietofeelthatherrequestswerenotadelighttohim.Hedidnotenthuseoverthepurchases.Thisledhertobelievethatneglectwascreepingin,andsoanothersmallwedgewasentered.
Nevertheless,oneoftheresultsofMrs.Vance』ssuggestionswasthefactthatonthisoccasionCarriewasdressedsomewhattoherownsatisfaction.Shehadonherbest,buttherewascomfortinthethoughtthatifshemustconfineherselftoabest,itwasneatandfitting.Shelookedthewell-groomedwomanoftwenty-one,andMrs.Vancepraisedher,whichbroughtcolortoherplumpcheeksandanoticeablebrightnessintoherlargeeyes.Itwasthreateningrain,andMr.Vance,athiswife』srequest,hadcalledacoach.「Yourhusbandisn』tcoming.」suggestedMr.Vance,ashemetCarrieinhislittleparlor.
「No;hesaidhewouldn』tbehomefordinner.」
「Betterleavealittlenoteforhim,tellinghimwhereweare.Hemightturnup.」
「Iwill,」saidCarrie,whohadnotthoughtofitbefore.
「Tellhimwe』llbeatSherry』suntileighto』clock.Heknows,thoughIguess.」
Carriecrossedthehallwithrustlingskirts,andscrawledthenote,gloveson.WhenshereturnedanewcomerwasintheVanceflat.
「Mrs.Wheeler,letmeintroduceMr.Ames,acousinofmine,」saidMrs.Vance.「He』sgoingalongwithus,aren』tyou,Bob.」
「I』mverygladtomeetyou,」saidAmes,bowingpolitelytoCarrie.
Thelattercaughtinaglancethedimensionsofaverystalwartfigure.Shealsonoticedthathewassmooth-shaven,goodlooking,andyoung,butnothingmore.
「Mr.AmesisjustdowninNewYorkforafewdays,」putinVance,「andwe』retryingtoshowhimaroundalittle.」
「Oh,areyou.」saidCarrie,takinganotherglanceatthenewcomer.
「Yes;IamjustonherefromIndianapolisforaweekorso,」saidyoungAmes,seatinghimselfontheedgeofachairtowaitwhileMrs.Vancecompletedthelasttouchesofhertoilet.
「IguessyoufindNewYorkquiteathingtosee,don』tyou.」saidCarrie,venturingsomethingtoavoidapossibledeadlysilence.
「Itisratherlargetogetaroundinaweek,」answeredAmes,pleasantly.
Hewasanexceedinglygenialsoul,thisyoungman,andwhollyfreeofaffectation.ItseemedtoCarriehewasasyetonlyovercomingthelasttracesofthebashfulnessofyouth.Hedidnotseemaptatconversation,buthehadthemeritofbeingwelldressedandwhollycourageous.Carriefeltasifitwerenotgoingtobehardtotalktohim.
「Well,Iguesswe』rereadynow.Thecoachisoutside.」
「Comeon,people,」saidMrs.Vance,cominginsmiling.「Bob,you』llhavetolookafterMrs.Wheeler.」
「I』lltryto,」saidBobsmiling,andedgingclosertoCarrie.「Youwon』tneedmuchwatching,willyou.」hevolunteered,inasortofingratiatingandhelp-me-outkindofway.
「Notvery,Ihope,」saidCarrie.
Theydescendedthestairs,Mrs.Vanceofferingsuggestions,andclimbedintotheopencoach.
「Allright,」saidVance,slammingthecoachdoor,andtheconveyancerolledaway.
「Whatisitwe』regoingtosee.」askedAmes.
「Sothern,」saidVance,「in『LordChumley.』」
「Oh,heissogood!」saidMrs.Vance.「He』sjustthefunniestman.」
「Inoticethepaperspraiseit,」saidAmes.
「Ihaven』tanydoubt,」putinVance,「butwe』llallenjoyitverymuch.」
AmeshadtakenaseatbesideCarrie,andaccordinglyhefeltithisboundendutytopayhersomeattention.Hewasinterestedtofindhersoyoungawife,andsopretty,thoughitwasonlyarespectfulinterest.Therewasnothingofthedashinglady』smanabouthim.Hehadrespectforthemarriedstate,andthoughtonlyofsomeprettymarriageablegirlsinIndianapolis.
「AreyouabornNewYorker.」askedAmesofCarrie.
「Oh,no;I』veonlybeenherefortwoyears.」
「Oh,well,you』vehadtimetoseeagreatdealofit,anyhow.」
「Idon』tseemtohave,」answeredCarrie.「It』saboutasstrangetomeaswhenIfirstcamehere.」
「You』renotfromtheWest,areyou.」
「Yes.I』mfromWisconsin,」sheanswered.
「Well,itdoesseemasifmostpeopleinthistownhaven』tbeenheresoverylong.IhearoflotsofIndianapeopleinmylinewhoarehere.」
「Whatisyourline.」askedCarrie.
「I』mconnectedwithanelectricalcompany,」saidtheyouth.
CarriefollowedupthisdesultoryconversationwithoccasionalinterruptionsfromtheVances.Severaltimesitbecamegeneralandpartiallyhumorous,andinthatmannertherestaurantwasreached.
Carriehadnoticedtheappearanceofgayetyandpleasure-seekinginthestreetswhichtheywerefollowing.Coacheswerenumerous,pedestriansmany,andinFifty-ninthStreetthestreetcarswerecrowded.AtFifty-ninthStreetandFifthAvenueablazeoflightsfromseveralnewhotelswhichborderedthePlazaSquaregaveasuggestionofsumptuoushotellife.FifthAvenue,thehomeofthewealthy,wasnoticeablycrowdedwithcarriages,andgentlemeninevening
dress.AtSherry』sanimposingdoormanopenedthecoachdoorandhelpedthemout.YoungAmesheldCarrie』selbowashehelpedherupthesteps.Theyenteredthelobbyalreadyswarmingwithpatrons,andthen,afterdivestingthemselvesoftheirwraps,wentintoasumptuousdining-room.
InallCarrie』sexperienceshehadneverseenanythinglikethis.InthewholetimeshehadbeeninNewYorkHurstwood』smodifiedstatehadnotpermittedhisbringinghertosuchaplace.Therewasanalmostindescribableatmosphereaboutitwhichconvincedthenewcomerthatthiswastheproperthing.Herewastheplacewherethematterofexpenselimitedthepatronstothemoneyedorpleasure-lovingclass.Carriehadreadofitofteninthe「Morning」and「EveningWorld.」Shehadseennoticesofdances,parties,balls,andsuppersatSherry』s.TheMissesSo-and-sowouldgiveapartyonWednesdayeveningatSherry』s.YoungMr.So-and-Sowouldentertainapartyoffriendsataprivateluncheononthesixteenth,atSherry』s.Thecommonrunofconventional,perfunctorynoticesofthedoingsofsociety,whichshecouldscarcelyrefrainfromscanningeachday,hadgivenheradistinctideaofthegorgeousnessandluxuryofthiswonderfultempleofgastronomy.Now,atlast,shewasreallyinit.Shehadcomeuptheimposingsteps,guardedbythelargeandportlydoorman.Shehadseenthelobby,guardedbyanotherlargeandportlygentleman,andbeenwaiteduponbyuniformedyouthswhotookcareofcanes,overcoats,andthelike.Herewasthesplendiddining-chamber,alldecoratedandaglow,wherethewealthyate.Ah,howfortunatewasMrs.Vance;young,beautiful,andwelloff—atleast,sufficientlysotocomehereinacoach.Whatawonderfulthingitwastoberich.
Vanceledthewaythroughlanesofshiningtables,atwhichwereseatedpartiesoftwo,three,four,five,orsix.Theairofassuranceanddignityaboutitallwas
exceedinglynoticeabletothenovitiate.Incandescentlights,thereflectionoftheirglowinpolishedglasses,andtheshineofgiltuponthewalls,combinedintoonetoneoflightwhichitrequiresminutesofcomplacentobservationtoseparateandtakeparticularnoteof.Thewhiteshirtfrontsofthegentlemen,thebrightcostumesoftheladies,diamonds,jewels,finefeathers—allwereexceedinglynoticeable.
CarriewalkedwithanairequaltothatofMrs.Vance,andacceptedtheseatwhichtheheadwaiterprovidedforher.Shewaskeenlyawareofallthelittlethingsthatweredone—thelittlegenuflectionsandattentionsofthewaitersandheadwaiterwhichAmericanspayfor.Theairwithwhichthelatterpulledouteachchair,andthewaveofthehandwithwhichhemotionedthemtobeseated,wereworthseveraldollarsinthemselves.
Onceseated,therebeganthatexhibitionofshowy,wasteful,andunwholesomegastronomyaspracticedbywealthyAmericans,whichisthewonderandastonishmentoftruecultureanddignitytheworldover.Thelargebilloffareheldanarrayofdishessufficienttofeedanarmy,sidelinedwithpriceswhichmadereasonableexpenditurearidiculousimpossibility—anorderofsoupatfiftycentsoradollar,withadozenkindstochoosefrom;oystersinfortystylesandatsixtycentsthehalf-dozen;entrees,fish,andmeatsatpriceswhichwouldhouseoneovernightinanaveragehotel.Onedollarfiftyandtwodollarsseemedtobethemostcommonfiguresuponthismosttastefullyprintedbilloffare.
Carrienoticedthis,andinscanningitthepriceofspringchickencarriedherbacktothatotherbilloffareandfardifferentoccasionwhen,forthefirsttime,shesatwithDrouetinagoodrestaurantinChicago.Itwasonlymomentary—asadnoteasoutofanoldsong—andthenitwasgone.ButinthatflashwasseentheotherCarrie—poor,hungry,driftingather
wits』ends,andallChicagoacoldandclosedworld,fromwhichsheonlywanderedbecauseshecouldnotfindwork.
Onthewallsweredesignsincolor,squarespotsofrobin』s-eggblue,setinornateframesofgilt,whosecornerswereelaboratemoldingsoffruitandflowers,withfatcupidshoveringinangeliccomfort.Ontheceilingswerecoloredtracerieswithmoregilt,leadingtoacenterwherespreadaclusteroflights-incandescentglobesmingledwithglitteringprismsandstuccotendrilsofgilt.Thefloorwasofareddishhue,waxedandpolished,andineverydirectionweremirrors—tall,brilliant,bevel-edgedmirrors—reflectingandre-reflectingforms,faces,andcandelabraascoreandahundredtimes.
Thetableswerenotsoremarkableinthemselves,andyettheimprintofSherryuponthenapery,thenameofTiffanyuponthesilverware,thenameofHavilanduponthechina,andoveralltheglowofthesmall,red-shadedcandelabraandthereflectedtintsofthewallsongarmentsandfaces,madethemseemremarkable.Eachwaiteraddedanairofexclusivenessandelegancebythemannerinwhichhebowed,scraped,touched,andtrifledwiththings.Theexclusivelypersonalattentionwhichhedevotedtoeachone,standinghalfbent,eartooneside,elbowsakimbo,saying:「Soup—greenturtle,yes.Oneportion,yes.Oysters-certainly—half-dozen—yes.Asparagus.Olives—yes.」
Itwouldbethesamewitheachone,onlyVanceessayedtoorderforall,invitingcounselandsuggestions.Carriestudiedthecompanywithopeneyes.SothiswashighlifeinNewYork.Itwassothattherichspenttheirdaysandevenings.Herpoorlittlemindcouldnotriseaboveapplyingeachscenetoallsociety.EveryfineladymustbeinthecrowdonBroadwayintheafternoon,inthetheatreatthematinee,inthecoachesanddining-hallsatnight.It
mustbeglowandshineeverywhere,withcoacheswaiting,andfootmenattending,andshewasoutofitall.Intwolongyearsshehadneverevenbeeninsuchaplaceasthis.
Vancewasinhiselementhere,asHurstwoodwouldhavebeeninformerdays.Heorderedfreelyofsoup,oysters,roastmeats,andsidedishes,andhadseveralbottlesofwinebrought,whichweresetdownbesidethetableinawickerbasket.
AmeswaslookingawayratherabstractedlyatthecrowdandshowedaninterestingprofiletoCarrie.Hisforeheadwashigh,hisnoseratherlargeandstrong,hischinmoderatelypleasing.Hehadagood,wide,well-shapedmouth,andhisdark-brownhairwaspartedslightlyononeside.HeseemedtohavetheleasttouchofboyishnesstoCarrie,andyethewasamanfullgrown.
「Doyouknow,」hesaid,turningbacktoCarrie,afterhisreflection,「Isometimesthinkitisashameforpeopletospendsomuchmoneythisway.」
Carrielookedathimamomentwiththefaintesttouchofsurpriseathisseriousness.Heseemedtobethinkingaboutsomethingoverwhichshehadneverpondered.
「Doyou.」sheanswered,interestedly.
「Yes,」hesaid,「theypaysomuchmorethanthesethingsareworth.Theyputonsomuchshow.」
「Idon』tknowwhypeopleshouldn』tspendwhentheyhaveit,」saidMrs.Vance.
「Itdoesn』tdoanyharm,」saidVance,whowasstillstudyingthebilloffare,thoughhehadordered.
Ameswaslookingawayagain,andCarriewasagainlookingathisforehead.Toherheseemedtobethinkingaboutstrangethings.Ashestudiedthecrowdhiseyewasmild.
「Lookatthatwoman』sdressoverthere,」hesaid,againturningtoCarrie,andnoddinginadirection.
「Where.」saidCarrie,followinghiseyes.
「Overthereinthecorner—wayover.Doyouseethatbrooch.」
「Isn』titlarge.」saidCarrie.
「OneofthelargestclustersofjewelsIhaveeverseen,」saidAmes.
「Itis,isn』tit.」saidCarrie.Shefeltasifshewouldliketobeagreeabletothisyoungman,andalsotherecamewithit,orperhapsprecededit,theslightestshadeofafeelingthathewasbettereducatedthanshewas—thathismindwasbetter.Heseemedtolookit,andthesavinggraceinCarriewasthatshecouldunderstandthatpeoplecouldbewiser.Shehadseenanumberofpeopleinherlifewhoremindedherofwhatshehadvaguelycometothinkofasscholars.Thisstrongyoungmanbesideher,withhisclear,naturallook,seemedtogetaholdofthingswhichshedidnotquiteunderstand,butapprovedof.Itwasfinetobeso,asaman,shethought.
Theconversationchangedtoabookthatwashavingitsvogueatthetime—」MoldingaMaiden,」byAlbertRoss.Mrs.Vancehadreadit.Vancehadseenitdiscussedinsomeofthepapers.
「Amancanmakequiteastrikewritingabook,」saidVance.「InoticethisfellowRossisverymuchtalkedabout.」HewaslookingatCarrieashespoke.
「Ihadn』theardofhim,」saidCarrie,honestly.
「Oh,Ihave,」saidMrs.Vance.「He』swrittenlotsofthings.Thislaststoryisprettygood.」
「Hedoesn』tamounttomuch,」saidAmes.
Carrieturnedhereyestowardhimastoanoracle.
「Hisstuffisnearlyasbadas『DoraThorne,』」concludedAmes.
Carriefeltthisasapersonalreproof.Sheread「DoraThorne,」orhadagreatdealinthepast.Itseemedonlyfairtoher,butshesupposedthatpeoplethoughtitveryfine.Nowthisclear-eyed,fine-headedyouth,wholookedsomethinglikeastudenttoher,madefunofit.Itwaspoortohim,notworthreading.She
lookeddown,andforthefirsttimefeltthepainofnotunderstanding.
YettherewasnothingsarcasticorsuperciliousinthewayAmesspoke.Hehadverylittleofthatinhim.Carriefeltthatitwasjustkindlythoughtofahighorder—therightthingtothink,andwonderedwhatelsewasright,accordingtohim.Heseemedtonoticethatshelistenedandrathersympathizedwithhim,andfromnowonhetalkedmostlytoher.
Asthewaiterbowedandscrapedabout,feltthedishestoseeiftheywerehotenough,broughtspoonsandforks,anddidallthoselittleattentivethingscalculatedtoimpresstheluxuryofthesituationuponthediner,AmesalsoleanedslightlytoonesideandtoldherofIndianapolisinanintelligentway.Hereallyhadaverybrightmind,whichwasfindingitschiefdevelopmentinelectricalknowledge.Hissympathiesforotherformsofinformation,however,andfortypesofpeople,werequickandwarm.Theredglowonhisheadgaveitasandytingeandputabrightglintinhiseye.Carrienoticedallthesethingsasheleanedtowardherandfeltexceedinglyyoung.Thismanwasfaraheadofher.HeseemedwiserthanHurstwood,sanerandbrighterthanDrouet.Heseemedinnocentandclean,andshethoughtthathewasexceedinglypleasant.Shenoticed,also,thathisinterestinherwasafar-offone.Shewasnotinhislife,noranyofthethingsthattouchedhislife,andyetnow,ashespokeofthesethings,theyappealedtoher.
「Ishouldn』tcaretoberich,」hetoldher,asthedinnerproceededandthesupplyoffoodwarmeduphissympathies;「notrichenoughtospendmymoneythisway.」
「Oh,wouldn』tyou.」saidCarrie,the,toher,newattitudeforcingitselfdistinctlyuponherforthefirsttime.
「No,」hesaid.「Whatgoodwoulditdo.Amandoesn』tneedthissortofthingtobehappy.」
Carriethoughtofthisdoubtfully;but,comingfromhim,ithadweightwithher.
「Heprobablycouldbehappy,」shethoughttoherself,「allalone.He』ssostrong.」
Mr.andMrs.Vancekeptuparunningfireofinterruptions,andtheseimpressivethingsbyAmescameatoddmoments.Theyweresufficient,however,fortheatmospherethatwentwiththisyouthimpresseditselfuponCarriewithoutwords.Therewassomethinginhim,ortheworldhemovedin,whichappealedtoher.Heremindedherofscenesshehadseenonthestage—thesorrowsandsacrificesthatalwayswentwithsheknewnotwhat.Hehadtakenawaysomeofthebitternessofthecontrastbetweenthislifeandherlife,andallbyacertaincalmindifferencewhichconcernedonlyhim.
Astheywentout,hetookherarmandhelpedherintothecoach,andthentheywereoffagain,andsototheshow.
DuringtheactsCarriefoundherselflisteningtohimveryattentively.Hementionedthingsintheplaywhichshemostapprovedof—thingswhichswayedherdeeply.
「Don』tyouthinkitratherfinetobeanactor.」sheaskedonce.
「Yes,Ido,」hesaid,「tobeagoodone.Ithinkthetheatreagreatthing.」
JustthislittleapprovalsetCarrie』sheartbounding.Ah,ifshecouldonlybeanactress—agoodone!Thismanwaswise—heknew—andheapprovedofit.Ifshewereafineactress,suchmenashewouldapproveofher.Shefeltthathewasgoodtospeakashehad,althoughitdidnotconcernheratall.Shedidnotknowwhyshefeltthisway.
Atthecloseoftheshowitsuddenlydevelopedthathewasnotgoingbackwiththem.
「Oh,aren』tyou.」saidCarrie,withanunwarrantablefeeling.
「Oh,no,」hesaid;「I』mstoppingrightaroundhereinThirty-thirdStreet.」
Carriecouldnotsayanythingelse,butsomehowthisdevelopmentshockedher.Shehadbeenregrettingthewaneofapleasantevening,butshehadthoughttherewasahalf-hourmore.Oh,thehalf-hours,theminutesoftheworld;whatmiseriesandgriefsarecrowdedintothem!
Shesaidgood-byewithfeignedindifference.Whatmattercoulditmake.Still,thecoachseemedlorn.
Whenshewentintoherownflatshehadthistothinkabout.Shedidnotknowwhethershewouldeverseethismananymore.Whatdifferencecoulditmake—whatdifferencecoulditmake.
Hurstwoodhadreturned,andwasalreadyinbed.Hisclotheswerescatteredlooselyabout.Carriecametothedoorandsawhim,thenretreated.Shedidnotwanttogoinyetawhile.Shewantedtothink.Itwasdisagreeabletoher.
Backinthedining-roomshesatinherchairandrocked.Herlittlehandswerefoldedtightlyasshethought.Throughafogoflongingandconflictingdesiresshewasbeginningtosee.Oh,yelegionsofhopeandpity—ofsorrowandpain!Shewasrocking,andbeginningtosee.