202.Chapter Eighteen（3）

thesavagehadchosenashishermitagetheoldlight-housewhichstoodonthecrestofthehillbetweenputtenhamandelstead。thebuildingwasofferro-concreteandinexcellentcondition–almosttoocomfortablethesavagehadthoughtwhenhefirstexploredtheplace，almosttoocivilizedlyluxurious。hepacifiedhisconsciencebypromisinghimselfacompensatinglyharderself-discipline，purificationsthemorecompleteandthorough。hisfirstnightinthehermitagewas，deliberately，asleeplessone。hespentthehoursonhiskneespraying，nowtothatheavenfromwhichtheguiltyclaudiushadbeggedforgiveness，nowinzu？itoawonawilona，nowtojesusandpookong，nowtohisownguardiananimal，theeagle。fromtimetotimehestretchedouthisarmsasthoughhewereonthecross，andheldthemthusthroughlongminutesofanachethatgraduallyincreasedtillitbecameatremulousandexcruciatingagony；heldthem，involuntarycrucifixion，whileherepeated，throughclenchedteeth（thesweat，meanwhile，pouringdownhisface），「oh，forgiveme！oh，makemepure！oh，helpmetobegood！」againandagain，tillhewasonthepointoffaintingfromthepain。

whenmorningcame，hefelthehadearnedtherighttoinhabitthelighthouse；yet，eventhoughtherestillwasglassinmostofthewindows，eventhoughtheviewfromtheplatformwassofine。fortheveryreasonwhyhehadchosenthelighthousehadbecomealmostinstantlyareasonforgoingsomewhereelse。hehaddecidedtolivetherebecausetheviewwassobeautiful，because，fromhisvantagepoint，heseemedtobelookingoutontotheincarnationofadivinebeing。butwhowashetobepamperedwiththedailyandhourlysightofloveliness？whowashetobelivinginthevisiblepresenceofgod？allhedeservedtoliveinwassomefilthysty，someblindholeintheground。stiffandstillachingafterhislongnightofpain，butforthatveryreasoninwardlyreassured，heclimbeduptotheplatformofhistower，helookedoutoverthebrightsunriseworldwhichhehadregainedtherighttoinhabit。onthenorththeviewwasboundedbythelongchalkridgeofthehog』sback，frombehindwhoseeasternextremityrosethetowersofthesevenskyscraperswhichconstitutedguildford。seeingthem，thesavagemadeagrimace；buthewastobecomereconciledtothemincourseoftime；foratnighttheytwinuedgailywithgeometricalconstellations，orelse，flood-lighted，pointedtheirluminousfingers（withagesturewhosesignificancenobodyinenglandbutthesavagenowunderstood）solemnlytowardstheplumblessmysteriesofheaven。