184.英文正文(184)
「smith?」saidthewoman。***「thassfunny。myname』ssmithtoo。why,」sheaddedsentimentally,「imightbeyourmother!」
shemight,thoughtwinston,behismother。shewasabouttherightageandphysique,anditwasprobablethatpeoplechangedsomewhataftertwentyyearsinaforced-labourcamp。
nooneelsehadspokentohim。toasurprisingextenttheordinarycriminalsignoredthepartyprisoners。「thepolits,」theycalledthem,withasortofuninterestedcontempt。thepartyprisonersseemedterrifiedofspeakingtoanybody,andaboveallofspeakingtooneanother。onlyonce,whentwopartymembers,bothwomen,werepressedclosetogetheronthebench,heoverheardamidthedinofvoicesafewhurriedly-whisperedwords;andinparticularareferencetosomethingcalled「roomone-ohone」,whichhedidnotunderstand。
itmightbetwoorthreehoursagothattheyhadbroughthimhere。thedullpaininhisbellyneverwentaway,butsometimesitgrewbetterandsometimesworse,andhisthoughtsexpandedorcontractedaccordingly。whenitgrewworsehethoughtonlyofthepainitself,andofhisdesireforfood。whenitgrewbetter,panictookholdofhim。thereweremomentswhenheforesawthethingsthatwouldhappentohimwithsuchactualitythathisheartgallopedandhisbreathstopped。hefeltthesmashoftruncheonsonhiselbowsandiron-shodbootsonhisshins;hesawhimselfgrovellingonthefloor,screamingformercythroughbrokenteeth。hehardlythoughtofjulia。hecouldnotfixhismindonher。helovedherandwouldnotbetrayher;butthatwasonlyafact,knownasheknewtherulesofarithmetic。hefeltnoloveforher,andhehardlyevenwonderedwhatwashappeningtoher。hethoughtoftenerofo』brien,withaflickeringhope。o』brienmightknowthathehadbeenarrested。thebrotherhood,hehadsaid,nevertriedtosaveitsmembers。buttherewastherazorblade;theywouldsendtherazorbladeiftheycould。therewouldbeperhapsfivesecondsbeforetheguardcouldrushintothecell。thebladewouldbiteintohimwithasortofburningcoldness,andeventhefingersthathelditwouldbecuttothebone。everythingcamebacktohissickbody,whichshranktremblingfromthesmallestpain。hewasnotcertainthathewouldusetherazorbladeevenifhegotthechance。itwasmorenaturaltoexistfrommomenttomoment,acceptinganothertenminutes』lifeevenwiththecertaintythattherewastortureattheendofit。