206.英文正文（206）

「howmanyfingers，winston？」

「four。isupposetherearefour。iwouldseefiveificould。iamtryingtoseefive。」

「whichdoyouwish：topersuademethatyouseefive，orreallytoseethem？」

「reallytoseethem。」

「again，」saido』brien。

perhapstheneedlewaseighty—ninety。winstoncouldnotintermittentlyrememberwhythepainwashappening。behindhisscrewed-upeyelidsaforestoffingersseemedtobemovinginasortofdance，weavinginandout，disappearingbehindoneanotherandreappearingagain。hewastryingtocountthem，hecouldnotrememberwhy。heknewonlythatitwasimpossibletocountthem，andthatthiswassomehowduetothemysteriousidentitybetweenfiveandfour。thepaindieddownagain。whenheopenedhiseyesitwastofindthathewasstillseeingthesamething。innumerablefingers，likemovingtrees，werestillstreamingpastineitherdirection，crossingandrecrossing。heshuthiseyesagain。

「howmanyfingersamiholdingup，winston？」

「idon』tknow。idon』tknow。youwillkillmeifyoudothatagain。four，five，six—inallhonestyidon』tknow。」

「better，」saido』brien。

aneedleslidintowinston』sarm。almostinthesameinstantablissful，healingwarmthspreadallthroughhisbody。thepainwasalreadyhalf-forgotten。heopenedhiseyesandlookedupgratefullyato』brien。atsightoftheheavy，linedface，souglyandsointelligent，hisheartseemedtoturnover。ifhecouldhavemovedhewouldhavestretchedoutahandandlaiditono'brienarm。hehadneverlovedhimsodeeplyasatthismoment，andnotmerelybecausehehadstoppedthepain。theoldfeeling，thatitbottomitdidnotmatterwhethero』brienwasafriendoranenemy，hadcomeback。o』brienwasapersonwhocouldbetalkedto。perhapsonedidnotwanttobelovedsomuchastobeunderstood。o』brienhadtorturedhimtotheedgeoflunacy，andinalittlewhile，itwascertain，hewouldsendhimtohisdeath。itmadenodifference。insomesensethatwentdeeperthanfriendship，theywereintimates：somewhereorother，althoughtheactualwordsmightneverbespoken，therewasaplacewheretheycouldmeetandtalk。o』brienwaslookingdownathimwithanexpressionwhichsuggestedthatthesamethoughtmightbeinhisownmind。whenhespokeitwasinaneasy，conversationaltone。