206.英文正文(206)
「howmanyfingers,winston?」
「four。isupposetherearefour。iwouldseefiveificould。iamtryingtoseefive。」
「whichdoyouwish:topersuademethatyouseefive,orreallytoseethem?」
「reallytoseethem。」
「again,」saido』brien。
perhapstheneedlewaseighty—ninety。winstoncouldnotintermittentlyrememberwhythepainwashappening。behindhisscrewed-upeyelidsaforestoffingersseemedtobemovinginasortofdance,weavinginandout,disappearingbehindoneanotherandreappearingagain。hewastryingtocountthem,hecouldnotrememberwhy。heknewonlythatitwasimpossibletocountthem,andthatthiswassomehowduetothemysteriousidentitybetweenfiveandfour。thepaindieddownagain。whenheopenedhiseyesitwastofindthathewasstillseeingthesamething。innumerablefingers,likemovingtrees,werestillstreamingpastineitherdirection,crossingandrecrossing。heshuthiseyesagain。
「howmanyfingersamiholdingup,winston?」
「idon』tknow。idon』tknow。youwillkillmeifyoudothatagain。four,five,six—inallhonestyidon』tknow。」
「better,」saido』brien。
aneedleslidintowinston』sarm。almostinthesameinstantablissful,healingwarmthspreadallthroughhisbody。thepainwasalreadyhalf-forgotten。heopenedhiseyesandlookedupgratefullyato』brien。atsightoftheheavy,linedface,souglyandsointelligent,hisheartseemedtoturnover。ifhecouldhavemovedhewouldhavestretchedoutahandandlaiditono'brienarm。hehadneverlovedhimsodeeplyasatthismoment,andnotmerelybecausehehadstoppedthepain。theoldfeeling,thatitbottomitdidnotmatterwhethero』brienwasafriendoranenemy,hadcomeback。o』brienwasapersonwhocouldbetalkedto。perhapsonedidnotwanttobelovedsomuchastobeunderstood。o』brienhadtorturedhimtotheedgeoflunacy,andinalittlewhile,itwascertain,hewouldsendhimtohisdeath。itmadenodifference。insomesensethatwentdeeperthanfriendship,theywereintimates:somewhereorother,althoughtheactualwordsmightneverbespoken,therewasaplacewheretheycouldmeetandtalk。o』brienwaslookingdownathimwithanexpressionwhichsuggestedthatthesamethoughtmightbeinhisownmind。whenhespokeitwasinaneasy,conversationaltone。