Chapter 42
ATOUCHOFSPRING—THEEMPTYSHELL
ThosewholookuponHurstwood』sBrooklynventureasanerrorofjudgmentwillnonethelessrealizethenegativeinfluenceonhimofthefactthathehadtriedandfailed.Carriegotawrongideaofit.Hesaidsolittlethatsheimaginedhehadencounterednothingworsethantheordinaryroughness—quittingsosooninthefaceofthisseemedtrifling.Hedidnotwanttowork.
Shewasnowoneofagroupoforientalbeautieswho,inthesecondactofthecomicopera,wereparadedbythevizierbeforethenewpotentateasthetreasuresofhisharem.Therewasnowordassignedtoanyofthem,butontheeveningwhenHurstwoodwashousinghimselfintheloftofthestreet-carbarn,theleadingcomedianandstar,feelingexceedinglyfacetious,saidinaprofoundvoice,whichcreatedarippleoflaughter:
「Well,whoareyou.」
ItmerelyhappenedtobeCarriewhowascurtsyingbeforehim.Itmightaswellhavebeenanyoftheothers,sofarashewasconcerned.Heexpectednoanswerandadullonewouldhavebeenreproved.ButCarrie,whoseexperienceandbeliefinherselfgaveherdaring,curtsiedsweetlyagainandanswered:
「Iamyourstruly.」
Itwasatrivialthingtosay,andyetsomethinginthewayshediditcaughttheaudience,whichlaughed
heartilyatthemockfiercepotentatetoweringbeforetheyoungwoman.Thecomedianalsolikedit,hearingthelaughter.
「IthoughtyournamewasSmith,」hereturned,endeavoringtogetthelastlaugh.
Carriealmosttrembledforherdaringaftershehadsaidthis.Allmembersofthecompanyhadbeenwarnedthattointerpolatelinesor「business」meantafineorworse.Shedidnotknowwhattothink.
Asshewasstandinginherproperpositioninthewings,awaitinganotherentry,thegreatcomedianmadehisexitpastherandpausedinrecognition.
「Youcanjustleavethatinhereafter,」heremarked,seeinghowintelligentsheappeared.「Don』taddanymore,though.」
「Thankyou,」saidCarrie,humbly.Whenhewentonshefoundherselftremblingviolently.
「Well,you』reinluck,」remarkedanothermemberofthechorus.「Thereisn』tanotheroneofushasgotaline.」
Therewasnogainsayingthevalueofthis.Everybodyinthecompanyrealizedthatshehadgotastart.Carriehuggedherselfwhennexteveningthelinesgotthesameapplause.Shewenthomerejoicing,knowingthatsoonsomethingmustcomeofit.ItwasHurstwoodwho,byhispresence,causedhermerrythoughtstofleeandreplacedthemwithsharplongingsforanendofdistress.
Thenextdaysheaskedhimabouthisventure.
「They』renottryingtorunanycarsexceptwithpolice.Theydon』twantanybodyjustnow—notbeforenextweek.」
Nextweekcame,butCarriesawnochange.Hurstwoodseemedmoreapatheticthanever.Hesawheroffmorningstorehearsalsandthelikewiththeutmostcalm.Hereadandread.Severaltimeshefoundhimselfstaringatanitem,butthinkingofsomethingelse.Thefirstoftheselapsesthathesharplynoticed
concernedahilariouspartyhehadonceattendedatadrivingclub,ofwhichhehadbeenamember.Hesat,gazingdownward,andgraduallythoughtheheardtheoldvoicesandtheclinkofglasses.
「You』readandy,Hurstwood,」hisfriendWalkersaid.Hewasstandingagainwelldressed,smiling,good-natured,therecipientofencoresforagoodstory.
Allatoncehelookedup.Theroomwassostillitseemedghostlike.Heheardtheclocktickingaudiblyandhalfsuspectedthathehadbeendozing.Thepaperwassostraightinhishands,however,andtheitemshehadbeenreadingsodirectlybeforehim,thatheridhimselfofthedozeidea.Still,itseemedpeculiar.Whenitoccurredasecondtime,however,itdidnotseemquitesostrange.
Butcherandgroceryman,bakerandcoalman—notthegroupwithwhomhewasthendealing,butthosewhohadtrustedhimtothelimit—called.Hemetthemallblandly,becomingdeftinexcuse.Atlasthebecamebold,pretendedtobeout,orwavedthemoff.
「Theycan』tgetbloodoutofaturnip,」hesaid.「ifIhaditI』dpaythem.」
Carrie』slittlesoldierfriend,MissOsborne,seeinghersucceeding,hadbecomeasortofsatellite.LittleOsbornecouldneverofherselfamounttoanything.Sheseemedtorealizeitinasortofpussy-likewayandinstinctivelyconcludedtoclingwithhersoftlittleclawstoCarrie.
「Oh,you』llgetup,」shekepttellingCarriewithadmiration.「You』resogood.」
TimidasCarriewas,shewasstrongincapability.Therelianceofothersmadeherfeelasifshemust,andwhenshemustshedared.Experienceoftheworldandofnecessitywasinherfavor.Nolongerthelightestwordofamanmadeherheaddizzy.Shehadlearnedthatmencouldchangeandfail.Flatteryinitsmostpalpableformhadlostitsforcewithher.Itrequiredsuperiority—kindlysuperior-ity—tomoveher—thesuperiorityofageniuslikeAmes.
「Idon』tliketheactorsinourcompany,」shetoldLolaoneday.「They』reallsostruckonthemselves.」
「Don』tyouthinkMr.Barclay』sprettynice.」inquiredLola,whohadreceivedacondescendingsmileortwofromthatquarter.
「Oh,he』sniceenough,」answeredCarrie;「butheisn』tsincere.Heassumessuchanair.」
LolafeltforherfirstholduponCarrieinthefollowingmanner:
「Areyoupayingroom-rentwhereyouare.」
「Certainly,」answeredCarrie.「Why.」
「IknowwhereIcouldgettheloveliestroomandbath,cheap.It』stoobigforme,butitwouldbejustrightfortwo,andtherentisonlysixdollarsaweekforboth.」
「Where.」saidCarrie.
「InSeventeenthStreet.」
「Well,Idon』tknowasI』dcaretochange,」saidCarrie,whowasalreadyturningoverthethree-dollarrateinhermind.Shewasthinkingifshehadonlyherselftosupportthiswouldleaveherseventeenforherself.
NothingcameofthisuntilaftertheBrooklynadventureofHurstwood』sandhersuccesswiththespeakingpart.Thenshebegantofeelasifshemustbefree.ShethoughtofleavingHurstwoodandthusmakinghimactforhimself,buthehaddevelopedsuchpeculiartraitsshefearedhemightresistanyefforttothrowhimoff.Hemighthuntheroutattheshowandhoundherinthatway.Shedidnotwhollybelievethathewould,buthemight.This,sheknew,wouldbeanembarrassingthingifhemadehimselfconspicuousinanyway.Ittroubledhergreatly.
Thingswereprecipitatedbytheofferofabetterpart.OneoftheactressesplayingthepartofamodestsweetheartgavenoticeofleavingandCarriewasselected.
「Howmuchareyougoingtoget.」askedMissOsborne,onhearingthegoodnews.
「Ididn』taskhim,」saidCarrie.
「Well,findout.Goodness,you』llnevergetanythingifyoudon』task.Tellthemyoumusthavefortydollars,anyhow.」
「Oh,no,」saidCarrie.
「Certainly!」exclaimedLola.「Ask『em,anyway.」
Carriesuccumbedtothisprompting,waiting,however,untilthemanagergavehernoticeofwhatclothingshemusthavetofitthepart.
「HowmuchdoIget.」sheinquired.
「Thirty-fivedollars,」hereplied.
Carriewastoomuchastonishedanddelightedtothinkofmentioningforty.Shewasnearlybesideherself,andalmosthuggedLola,whoclungtoheratthenews.
「Itisn』tasmuchasyououghttoget,」saidthelatter,「especiallywhenyou』vegottobuyclothes.」
Carrierememberedthiswithastart.Wheretogetthemoney.Shehadnonelaidupforsuchanemergency.Rentdaywasdrawingnear.
「I』llnotdoit,」shesaid,rememberinghernecessity.「Idon』tusetheflat.I』mnotgoingtogiveupmymoneythistime.I』llmove.」
FittingintothiscameanotherappealfromMissOsborne,moreurgentthanever.
「Comelivewithme,won』tyou.」shepleaded.「Wecanhavetheloveliestroom.Itwon』tcostyouhardlyanythingthatway.」
「I』dliketo,」saidCarrie,frankly.
「Oh,do,」saidLola.「We』llhavesuchagoodtime.」
Carriethoughtawhile.
「IbelieveIwill,」shesaid,andthenadded:「I』llhavetoseefirst,though.」Withtheideathusgrounded,rentdayapproaching,andclothescallingforinstantpurchase,shesoonfoundexcuseinHurstwood』slassitude.Hesaidlessanddroopedmorethanever.
Asrentdayapproached,anideagrewinhim.Itwasfosteredbythedemandsofcreditorsandtheimpossibilityofholdingupmanymore.Twenty-eightdollarswastoomuchforrent.「It』shardonher,」hethought.「Wecouldgetacheaperplace.」
Stirredwiththisidea,hespokeatthebreakfasttable.
「Don』tyouthinkwepaytoomuchrenthere.」heasked.
「IndeedIdo,」saidCarrie,notcatchinghisdrift.
「Ishouldthinkwecouldgetasmallerplace,」hesuggested.「Wedon』tneedfourrooms.」
Hercountenance,hadhebeenscrutinizingher,wouldhaveexhibitedthedisturbanceshefeltatthisevidenceofhisdeterminationtostaybyher.Hesawnothingremarkableinaskinghertocomedownlower.
「Oh,Idon』tknow,」sheanswered,growingwary.
「Theremustbeplacesaroundherewherewecouldgetacoupleofrooms,whichwoulddojustaswell.」
Herheartrevolted.「Never!」shethought.Whowouldfurnishthemoneytomove.Tothinkofbeingintworoomswithhim!Sheresolvedtospendhermoneyforclothesquickly,beforesomethingterriblehappened.Thatverydayshedidit.Havingdoneso,therewasbutoneotherthingtodo.
「Lola,」shesaid,visitingherfriend,「IthinkI』llcome.」
「Oh,jolly!」criedthelatter.
「Canwegetitrightaway.」sheasked,meaningtheroom.
「Certainly,」criedLola.
Theywenttolookatit.Carriehadsavedtendollarsfromherexpenditures—enoughforthisandherboardbeside.Herenlargedsalarywouldnotbeginfortendaysyet—wouldnotreachherforseventeen.Shepaidhalfofthesixdollarswithherfriend.
「Now,I』vejustenoughtogetontotheendoftheweek,」sheconfided.
「Oh,I』vegotsome,」saidLola.「I』vegottwenty-fivedollars,ifyouneedit.」
「No,」saidCarrie.「IguessI』llgetalong.」
TheydecidedtomoveFriday,whichwastwodaysaway.Nowthatthethingwassettled,Carrie』sheartmisgaveher.Shefeltverymuchlikeacriminalinthematter.EachdaylookingatHurstwood,shehadrealizedthat,alongwiththedisagreeablenessofhisattitude,therewassomethingpathetic.
Shelookedathimthesameeveningshehadmadeuphermindtogo,andnowheseemednotsoshiftlessandworthless,butrundownandbeatenuponbychance.Hiseyeswerenotkeen,hisfacemarked,hishandsflabby.Shethoughthishairhadatouchofgray.Allunconsciousofhisdoom,herockedandreadhispaper,whilesheglancedathim.
Knowingthattheendwassonear,shebecamerathersolicitous.
「Willyougooverandgetsomecannedpeaches.」sheaskedHurstwood,layingdownatwo-dollarbill.
「Certainly,」hesaid,lookinginwonderatthemoney.
「Seeifyoucangetsomeniceasparagus,」sheadded.「I』llcookitfordinner.」
Hurstwoodroseandtookthemoney,slippingonhisovercoatandgettinghishat.Carrienoticedthatbothofthesearticlesofapparelwereoldandpoorlookinginappearance.Itwasplainenoughbefore,butnowitcamehomewithpeculiarforce.Perhapshecouldn』thelpit,afterall.HehaddonewellinChicago.Sherememberedhisfineappearancethedayshehadmetherinthepark.Thenhewassosprightly,soclean.Haditbeenallhisfault.
Hecamebackandlaidthechangedownwiththefood.
「You』dbetterkeepit,」sheobserved.「We』llneedotherthings.」
「No,」hesaid,withasortofpride;「youkeepit.」
「Oh,goonandkeepit,」shereplied,rather
unnerved.「There』llbeotherthings.」
Hewonderedatthis,notknowingthepatheticfigurehehadbecomeinhereyes.Sherestrainedherselfwithdifficultyfromshowingaquaverinhervoice.
Tosaytruly,thiswouldhavebeenCarrie』sattitudeinanycase.ShehadlookedbackattimesuponherpartingfromDrouetandhadregrettedthatshehadservedhimsobadly.Shehopedshewouldnevermeethimagain,butshewasashamedofherconduct.Notthatshehadanychoiceinthefinalseparation.Shehadgonewillinglytoseekhim,withsympathyinherheart,whenHurstwoodhadreportedhimill.Therewassomethingcruelsomewhere,andnotbeingabletotrackitmentallytoitslogicallair,sheconcludedwithfeelingthathewouldneverunderstandwhatHurstwoodhaddoneandwouldseehard-hearteddecisioninherdeed;hencehershame.Notthatshecaredforhim.Shedidnotwanttomakeanyonewhohadbeengoodtoherfeelbadly.
Shedidnotrealizewhatshewasdoingbyallowingthesefeelingstopossessher.Hurstwood,noticingthekindness,conceivedbetterofher.「Carrie』sgood-natured,anyhow,」hethought.
GoingtoMissOsborne』sthatafternoon,shefoundthatlittleladypackingandsinging.
「Whydon』tyoucomeoverwithmetoday.」sheasked.
「Oh,Ican』t,」saidCarrie.「I』llbethereFriday.Wouldyoumindlendingmethetwenty-fivedollarsyouspokeof.」
「Why,no,」saidLola,goingforherpurse.
「Iwanttogetsomeotherthings,」saidCarrie.
「Oh,that』sallright,」answeredthelittlegirl,good-naturedly,gladtobeofservice.IthadbeendayssinceHurstwoodhaddonemorethangotothegroceryortothenews-stand.Nowthewearinessofindoorswasuponhim—hadbeenfortwodays—butchill,grayweatherhadheldhimback.Fridaybrokefair
andwarm.Itwasoneofthoselovelyharbingersofspring,givenasasignindrearywinterthatearthisnotforsakenofwarmthandbeauty.Theblueheaven,holdingitsonegoldenorb,poureddownacrystalwashofwarmlight.Itwasplain,fromthevoiceofthesparrows,thatallwashalcyonoutside.Carrieraisedthefrontwindows,andfeltthesouthwindblowing.
「It』slovelyoutto-day,」sheremarked.
「Isit.」saidHurstwood.
Afterbreakfast,heimmediatelygothisotherclothes.
「Willyoubebackforlunch.」askedCarrienervously.
「No,」hesaid.
Hewentoutintothestreetsandtrampednorth,alongSeventhAvenue,idlyfixingupontheHarlemRiverasanobjectivepoint.Hehadseensomeshipsupthere,thetimehehadcalleduponthebrewers.Hewonderedhowtheterritorythereaboutswasgrowing.
PassingFifty-ninthStreet,hetookthewestsideofCentralPark,whichhefollowedtoSeventy-eighthStreet.Thenherememberedtheneighborhoodandturnedovertolookatthemassofbuildingserected.Itwasverymuchimproved.Thegreatopenspaceswerefillingup.Comingback,hekepttotheParkuntil110thStreet,andthenturnedintoSeventhAvenueagain,reachingtheprettyriverbyoneo』clock.
Thereitranwindingbeforehisgaze,shiningbrightlyintheclearlight,betweentheundulatingbanksontherightandthetall,tree-coveredheightsontheleft.Thespring-likeatmospherewokehimtoasenseofitsloveliness,andforafewmomentshestoodlookingatit,foldinghishandsbehindhisback.Thenheturnedandfollowedittowardtheeastside,idlyseekingtheshipshehadseen.Itwasfouro』clockbeforethewaningday,withitssuggestionofacoolerevening,causedhimtoreturn.Hewashungryandwouldenjoyeatinginthewarmroom.
Whenhereachedtheflatbyhalf-pastfive,itwasstilldark.HeknewthatCarriewasnotthere,notonlybecausetherewasnolightshowingthroughthetransom,butbecausetheeveningpaperswerestuckbetweentheoutsideknobandthedoor.Heopenedwithhiskeyandwentin.Everythingwasstilldark.Lightingthegas,hesatdown,preparingtowaitalittlewhile.EvenifCarriedidcomenow,dinnerwouldbelate.Hereaduntilsix,thengotuptofixsomethingforhimself.
Ashedidso,henoticedthattheroomseemedalittlequeer.Whatwasit.Helookedaround,asifhemissedsomething,andthensawanenvelopenearwherehehadbeensitting.Itspokeforitself,almostwithoutfurtheractiononhispart.
Reachingover,hetookit,asortofchillsettlinguponhimevenwhilehereached.Thecrackleoftheenvelopeinhishandswasloud.Greenpapermoneylaysoftwithinthenote.
「DearGeorge,」heread,crunchingthemoneyinonehand,「I』mgoingaway.I』mnotcomingbackanymore.It』snousetryingtokeepuptheflat;Ican』tdoit.Iwouldn』tmindhelpingyou,ifIcould,butIcan』tsupportusboth,andpaytherent.IneedwhatlittleImaketopayformyclothes.I』mleavingtwentydollars.It』sallIhavejustnow.Youcandowhateveryoulikewiththefurniture.Iwon』twantit.—CARRIE.
Hedroppedthenoteandlookedquietlyround.Nowheknewwhathemissed.Itwasthelittleornamentalclock,whichwashers.Ithadgonefromthemantelpiece.Hewentintothefrontroom,hisbedroom,theparlor,lightingthegasashewent.Fromthechiffonierhadgonetheknick-knacksofsilverandplate.Fromthetabletop,thelacecoverings.Heopenedthewardrobe—noclothesofhers.Heopenedthedrawers—nothingofhers.Hertrunkwasgonefromitsaccustomedplace.Backinhisownroomhunghisoldclothes,justashehadleftthem.Nothing
elsewasgone.
Hesteppedintotheparlorandstoodforafewmomentslookingvacantlyatthefloor.Thesilencegrewoppressive.Thelittleflatseemedwonderfullydeserted.Hewhollyforgotthathewashungry,thatitwasonlydinner-time.Itseemedlaterinthenight.
Suddenly,hefoundthatthemoneywasstillinhishands.Thereweretwentydollarsinall,asshehadsaid.Nowhewalkedback,leavingthelightsablaze,andfeelingasiftheflatwereempty.
「I』llgetoutofthis,」hesaidtohimself.
Thenthesheerlonelinessofhissituationrusheduponhiminfull.
「Leftme!」hemuttered,andrepeated,「leftme!」
Theplacethathadbeensocomfortable,wherehehadspentsomanydaysofwarmth,wasnowamemory.Somethingcolderandchillierconfrontedhim.Hesankdowninhischair,restinghischininhishand—meresensation,withoutthought,holdinghim.
Thensomethinglikeabereavedaffectionandself-pitysweptoverhim.
「Sheneedn』thavegoneaway,」hesaid.「I』dhavegotsomething.」
Hesatalongwhilewithoutrocking,andaddedquiteclearly,outloud:
「Itried,didn』tI.」
Atmidnighthewasstillrocking,staringatthefloor.